Tuesday, May 19, 2015
A must share! Bang on Michael. #1 fav comment of the month!
“A moment that really stands out as transformational in my life was when I was convinced that the writings of some of my favorite mentors who quoted a lot of authors like Tozer and Spurgeon were about me – and I hated it. I saw it as an accusation and a condemnation. My pride had me in a “chokehold” as you say…until I finally realized that up until then my acceptance of my shortcomings and conviction of sin was just lip service. Truth is – it burned me up inside to be exposed by these people. But they kept at it – challenging me directly and indirectly through all of their writings and sermons – until I welcomed it. That is transformation. Can’t be faked.” – Michael Pikose
This “theme” has been on my mind quite a bit. It seems that writing challenging posts and exposing sickness and sin is ok with alot of people…as long as it’s about someone else! As soon as it hits too close to home, it is suddenly deemed as a personal attack. Or venting “resentment”. lol! I get this alot!! People thinking that I’m writing about them. If you really think that…chances are I am! Of course I am. Who else would I be talking about? It seems ok with you if I use your “enemies” as examples in my writing, you nod your head deeply, and shout out a smug amen! But you are devastated that I would use YOU in my examples.
You then try to school me about my “wicked” ways of writing about you…by writing about me on your social media. LOL!
But I don’t think you’re upset for the reasons you try to give. The Truth remains that you are mad at me for noticing how sick you are. You thought your friendship/worship/agreeing with me/kissing my ass would buy me off. That is a prevalent sick dynamic in so many recovery circles/church groups etc. that I see that deeply disturbs me. You thought that because we had a friendship I would look the other way as you began to embrace the defects you once fought to get rid of. You then thought that you could manipulate me by accusing me of what you are guilty of! You thought I would care about your approval as much as you care about mine. You thought wrong.
I say what I say and write what I write, not out of resentment, not to “attack” you and not to shame you. But rather because I know that YOU know I am telling the truth. And that has always been my promise to you, the seal of my friendship, that I will tell you the truth regardless of what it costs me, regardless of how much you will try to make it about something else. Despite your protestations, slander and anger, I believe that you are still listening to me! So much so, that you are on here reading this long after you claimed to have stopped listening.
“Better to be criticized by a wise person than to be praised by a fool.” Ecclesiastes 7:5
Recovered In Christ 
“The Truth remains that you are mad at me for noticing how sick you are.”…this couldn’t be closer to the truth if I’d written it myself! YES!!!! You put into words exactly what I’ve been processing here for some time. God bless ya!
LOL…Uh oh are some feelers hurt? I had the same problem myself. I could not swallow let alone stomach and digest the comments and “shares” I felt were directed my way. I felt it was a personal nasty underhanded attack…until it occurred to me that there was no other way to communicate with me.
I used to feel like this every time I was in a group of women who I desperately tried to fit in with…but who I wasn’t prepared to learn from. It was a tough place to be. Ultimately I created so many “issues” in my mind about to them in order to try and bring them down to a non threatening level until I became tired enough from hopping on one foot due to shooting my own self in the foot. That’s when real recovery began for me.
I experienced this quite a bit in al-anon. I think that when we have relational problems with others that have been masked by other severe addictions, a person may be totally unaware just how “sick” they really are in, and instead transfer these issues onto the very people they’ve asked to help them. As in all addictions though, there is no real chance for recovery and growth until the problem is seen and admitted.
Thank you for your frank and un-sugarcoated commentary on this blog.
Yup. Hate to be crude, but it’s equivalent to sitting in shit while looking around accusing everyone of the bad smell. Good for you for not taking any of this garbage on – and remaining true to the truth! God bless.
“You then thought that you could manipulate me by accusing me of what you are guilty of!”
YES!!!! YES!!!!!! ….I see this all the time. Ladies behaving like they are still using…but if you notice and refuse to participate in it with them…they turn their venom on you….and then make passive aggressive suggestions for you to take some “inventory”.
Argh…it’s so sick and weird and gross…I love your blog for this reason!! You are like a watchman in the tower – seeing these things and calling them out. It’s like we know the same people or maybe it’s just that sick behavior looks the same!
Ah Jenny! It’s late and I’m swamped – and although I love and appreciate all of the wonderful food for thought comments and messages I receive, it can get tough to reply to them all. But I had to take a moment and respond to you to let you know…that we may not know the same “people”, but it is definitely the same spirit operating in many of them. The more that I walk this path that requires sincere and humble self examination and submission to the true working of Christ’s Spirit in us, the more I see how many self professing “Christians” do not, and have no real desire to. Yet they covet the fruits, gifts and power of “true” believers – they seek us out, mimic and parrot our way of life, try to “copy” our style, obsess and stalk our lives…and when they are faced with a real challenge to stop living sick and dishonest lives….their true colours emerge…they turn on us and start telling us off…accusing us of what they are guilty of, demanding we do some “inventory”! I just finished dealing with a couple of stalkers myself who are busy baptizing women in bathtubs by day while abandoning their families by night to chase after socializing….and who got pretty pissed that I didn’t fall for their “rebuke”.
LOL….as if you’d ever want anything they “have”.
Just keep doing what you’re doing. Don’t deny or budge from seeing what you see regardless of how desperately the naked Emperor harasses you for it. God sees everything. Every last detail of the story! You know the truth about these situations and so does He. And chances are so do the sick ladies taking shots at you – why else do you think they are coming after you so hard 🙂
Amen!!
This is so awesome. Oh my Lord you have just described almost every single friendship I’ve had in the past 5 years with “Christian” women in AA. I felt so scared and intimidated for so long to admit I noticed these sick behaviors for fear of the backlash. I saw “respectable” women who were at almost every meeting every day preaching the Bible while at the same time they were insecure, crude and jealous of any women who they couldn’t manipulate. Thank you SO very much Layla for what you did when you came to speak in the UK. It may not have changed those women – but the power working through you certainly changed me 🙂
I decided to risk the rejection (which happened) and find some women who could actually help me to grow. God bless.