Recovered In Christ

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to  this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Romans 12:1-2

When I first started highschool I was terrified, from a combination of many things. Being out of my comfort zone, having to figure out where all my classes were, where was I going to sit, who was I going to have lunch with? Would my junior high friendships survive this? All the new smells, sounds and information rushing at me. Definitely a major shock, especially to an emotionally damaged kid like I was! Out of all the pressing issues around me, finding my assigned locker and learning how to operate my combo lock was at the top of the list. In the winding hallways and corners of my huge school – finding and opening my locker was a huge deal! It was a pathetic attempt to stave off the spiraling horror of my life – perhaps an oasis in the desert or maybe nothing more than a mirage. If I could just get myself to that locker and get it open – I could avoid thinking about and dealing with all the questions I was hopelessly lost about. How do I explain my crazy abusive parents to my friends? How could I make myself beautiful and hope that the boys, who’s attention I desperately wanted would not see the ugliness my mother told me was there. How could I focus on the conversation about weekend plans while avoiding thinking about my mother’s suicidal rants? How do I pretend to be normal?

If you’re looking for a story of how I overcame the hellish depravity of my family life, or the narcissistic pressure of self-centered fear..and soared to great heights of confidence and some great spiritual lessons, you’re out of luck! This highschool story does not end in any glory – it was brutal, and it stayed that way – for a very long time!!! I eventually dropped out and stopped playing the double life of being ‘normal’ – I ended my own personal torment of that by abandoning my life to crime, vanity and drugs!! That really cured my highschool jitters and obliterated my self-consciousness!!

Many years later…after my KING in shining armor (God) rescued me and delivered me – and walked through many fires with me – I happened to go back to school – I started University  – in a place with even more winding hallways…and more uncertainty, I was close to a decade older than the students in my class! Was I nervous? Yes. Was I obsessed with finding all my classes and what the boys thought of me? Kind of! LOL!

Was I in torment? No. Was I LOST? No. Why? You see – I had even worse odds against me, I was a single mother out of my element in this school. I had been out of the ‘habit’ of learning for more than 10 years. It was 10 times bigger than my last school! I knew even less than I did in highschool and yet had way more expected of me. Why was I not tormented? Why did I have the answers and solutions to things that had baffled me before? Why did I have so much confidence in the face of so much uncertainty?

Because I was not following the world anymore – even though I was fully immersed in it! I was not following what was expected of me, I was not following my family or my feelings. I was following God. I was no longer conformed to the world – I was transformed by the renewal of my mind and was THEREFORE able to discern the Will of God.

This is the point I am trying to make, that small example of being back in school is a microcosm of being in the world but not of it. I am surrounded by so many Christians who can’t seem to choose a pair of socks without the crippling doubt plaguing them of “I’m not sure this is God’s Will for me” – they are constantly unsure of what move to make – they can’t seem to make any spontaneous decisions and somehow that’s been spiritualized into them believeing they are deferring to seek God’s Will rather than their own in that situation. But this is far from the truth. In truth – they are still approaching the world with a mind that is still conformed to it – attempting not to be!!! Rather than a mind renewed by being a living sacrifice to God which comes as a response to the mercies of God! A renewed mind that would have the power to test and discern what is the good, acceptable, perfect will of God.

They are like a highschool graduate who has never found their locker in the 4 years they were in highschool! But they can’t seem to see how ridiculous it sounds to keep asking “Where is my locker?” umm..after 4 years of being in that highschool and not finding your locker – I’d start asking something more along the lines of “What’s wrong with me?” – If you’re a real Born again Christian and yet you still keep asking “Is this God’s Will for me” I’d start asking “What’s wrong with me?”!!

Instead of trying to figure out God’s Will for you in each and every step of your life, wrestling with the silliest of questions like whether or not to go to a specific place, or worse, cut yourself off from the world, thinking that’s the only “safe” path to holiness- ask instead “Am I conforming to this world – keeping a carnal mind trying to discern the spiritual?” If so – you’d be better off to start praying the prayer that Jesus Himself prayed for us “Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth” (John 17:17)

Jesus’ prayer on our behalf:

“I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one. They are not of the world, just as I am not of the world. Sanctify them in the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, so I have sent them into the world. And for their sake I consecrate myself, that they also may be sanctified in truth.”

“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world. O righteous Father, even though the world does not know you, I know you, and these know that you have sent me. I made known to them your name, and I will continue to make it known, that the love with which you have loved me may be in them, and I in them.” – Jesus

Read Full Post »

The Grave is empty! After Jesus was crucified and before his followers saw Him resurrected they were in despair – having not truly understood his words when He was alive that this would happen! They thought that maybe someone had stolen His body – who knows what they were thinking after going through the horrible experience of knowing that their teacher had died a brutal and vicious death on the cross!!

The Grave is empty! Not only had Jesus come back to life – He Defeated Death! He overcame it! And kicked the Devil’s ass! He destroyed his claim on humanity. Jesus was more than another Lazarus – He wasn’t just brought back to life, He is LIFE, He was completely transfigured, He will never die again! …and His sad disciples had no idea – not yet! I wonder what they felt like looking into that empty grave? When I think about the empty grave in my life – I can’t stop crying at how much I love you God! I should be dead in the ground but I’m not. I should be in prison, but I’m not. I should be depressed and anxious and full of shame, but I’m not. I should be overwhelmed and discouraged, but I’m not. I should be intimidated to be quieter and more subtle about who you are Jesus – but I’m not. I should be lost to hell, but I’m not.

Why? Because The Grave is empty! It took Mary Magdalen a few minutes to realize why the tomb was empty, it took some of Jesus’ other followers a few hours. It took me years. Years to realize who you really are Jesus. To realize why it is that the grave in my life is empty, and that it is ONLY possible because you walked out of yours over 2000 years ago!

Amen!

Read Full Post »

To Judge Or Not To Judge…

I have been reading alot lately about people’s struggle with not wanting to ‘judge’ anyone, which is good stuff – but that’s not the real issue. The real struggle is their lack of the ability to discern true from false, good from evil, etc. Many people think that not condemning people or not acting hostile and judgmental means that we have been stripped of the ability to make value judgments on what is right and wrong! I find it so strange that people say things like ‘It’s not our place to judge whether people are christians or not’, really? How can you think that – let alone say it? Everything that the prophets and apostles and people of God have left for us in scripture is to help us be able to do just that. Please stop twisting words and ideas. And taking things out of context. It is so unwise.

Yes, of course, we shouldn’t ‘judge’ as in condemn anyone through our own human opinion and rules or decide who gets to be saved and who doesn’t. God is the Final Judge! The power that God has and that He gives his children, is to be able to see sin and evil for what it is – and where it is, to reject it totally, and yet remain steadfast in His Love for people. If you are a TRUE believer, someone who is sincerely governed by the wisdom and power of the Holy Spirit, you will naturally be able to discern who is a follower of Christ and who isn’t. You will naturally be able to make value judgments. You will ‘know’ things that your own human mind did not come up with!

This idea that we are not in a position to ‘judge’ and should stay on the sidelines is at the heart of new age (demonic) philosophy. Yes – there is a time to act/step in, and Yes, there is a time not to.

We are surrounded by wolves in sheep’s clothing. We are surrounded by people wanting their cake while eating it as well! What is the solution? To be judgemental and harsh? Of course not! But is it to be accepting of watered down ‘church-ianity’? No!

How can you strike a balance? How can you have the precision to judge and act in perfect harmony with the true Will of God – in every unique situation? By getting really honest with yourself and God! Do you now have the Spirit of Truth in you? Are you being led by the Spirit? Are your beliefs, actions and outcomes in alignment with the Word Of God? Is the sincere prayer of your heart that you want God to mold you and make you more like his Son? See, the closer you are with Jesus, the more you start being able to ‘see’. The more you will naturally ‘know’ how to judge a situation.

So many christians ‘harm’ other christians by allowing them into their inner circle and fellowship, while knowing full well that person is not repentant and truly seeking Christ!

Instead they should be taking the time to ‘minister’ to these people OUTSIDE of the fellowship of true believers, to plant seeds and show them God’s kindness that leads to repentance but instead they mix it all in and actually act confused when their fellowship/church/group gets watered down!!

To me, this is obviously due to a lack of wisdom. A lack of willingness to learn and do things the right way. A lack of knowledge of the Will of God. Studying the Bible and trying to follow the principles in your own life while navigating through the ‘church’ will be meaningless and futile without real humility. Humility – to truly seek to know and do the Will of God! Are you humble enough in your heart to really say ‘Of myself I know nothing. Of myself I can do nothing. Of myself I am nothing’ that is the ingredient that most ‘christians’ I meet lack! Because if a person really owns those words, God Himself will reveal things to you, God Himself will give you access to His Heart and Wisdom and Knowledge and Power. An amazing trade!
xo…Layla

Read Full Post »

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go” Joshua 1:9

Don’t misunderstand me, my strength doesn’t come from me. It doesn’t even come from my ‘faith’. My strength comes from God. He strengthens me. My faith is a gift. Yet when I lost my faith, He was still there – with me. With or without it God has strengthened me. Don’t misunderstand me. I am not powerless – a victim to circumstance – simply ‘accepting’ everything that comes at me, without a will of my own! NO! Where does God begin and end in me? That is the brilliant mystery of Christianity! The Father and Son live in me – as I, Layla, live in them. Together – different, but one unit! God has given me His Spirit to comfort me, and help me. Help me how? To do better? Be better? No! To Help me to become more like The Son. Where does God begin and end in me? What a beautiful thing to wonder at! God told me “DO NOT BE AFRAID. DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED. FOR I THE LORD WILL BE WITH YOU WHEREVER YOU GO.” To truly follow God I had to obey that! I had to really Listen to it! DO NOT BE AFRAID. It wasn’t just a comforting slogan. It was a command! DO NOT BE AFRAID! In the Name of Jesus Christ, God The Son, I command you spirit of fear to depart from me. I will fear no evil, for the Lord is with me. I COMMAND every force of darkness coming against me to leave. I seal my mind shut against all accusations, insinuations and condemnations! It is the Will of God that I BE NOT AFRAID. I will obey only the voice of the Lord!!…and that is how I overcame Evil. Through the Power of Christ. Amen.

Read Full Post »

December 13, 2012

Proper Use Of The Will

“For deliverance from the power of sin and protection from deceiving spirits in their workings, it is important to have a clear apprehension of God’s purpose in redemption. God created man, with dominion over himself. This dominion was exercised by his act of will, even as it was by his Creator. But man fell, and, in his fall, yielded his will to the rule of Satan, who from that time by the agency of his evil spirits has ruled the world, through the enslaved will of fallen man. Christ the Second Adam came, and taking the place of man, chose obedience to the Father’s will, and never for one moment diverged from His perfect co-operation with that will. In the wilderness He refused to exercise the Divine power at the will of Satan, and in Gethsemane in suffering His will never wavered in the choice of the Father’s will. As Man He willed the will of God right through, becoming obedient even unto death, thus regaining for regenerated man, not only reconciliation with God, but liberty from Satan’s thraldom, and the restoration of man’s renewed and sanctified will to its place of free action, deliberately and intelligently exercised in harmony with the will of God.

Christ wrought out for man upon Calvary’s Cross salvation of spirit, soul, and body, from the dominion of sin and Satan; but that full salvation is wrought out in the believer through the central action of the will, as he deliberately chooses the will of God for each department of his tripartite nature.

The will of the man united to the will of God–and thus having the energizing power of God working with his volition–is to rule his (1) “own spirit” (see Prov. 25: 28; 1 Cor. 14: 32); (2) thoughts or mind (Col. 3: 2) inclusive of all the soul-powers; and (3) body (1 Cor. 9: 27), and when, by the appropriation of God’s freeing power from slavery to sin and Satan, the believer regains free action of his will so that he gladly and spontaneously wills the will of God, and as a renewed man re-takes dominion over spirit, soul and body, he reigns in life “through . . Jesus Christ” (Rom. 5: 17). – Jessie Penn-Lewis; War On The Saints, Chapter 9

“For the sin of this one man, Adam, caused death to rule over many. But even greater is God’s wonderful grace and his gift of righteousness, for all who receive it will live in triumph over sin and death through this one man, Jesus  Christ.” (Romans 5:17)

Read Full Post »

November 2, 2012

One day when I’m really old and have more to say (or perhaps less to say!!) I think I’m going to write a book and call it “Diary of a recovered sociopath”. I’m not kidding! The more my eyes are opened to the insanity of this world and to the absolute depravity that I lived in, all my life – the more breathtaking and outrageous is God’s grace demonstrated in what he did for this world – for me, through Christ. Seeing myself as I was and truly am on my own power against Who God Really Is, is like watching a black ink spot against a white canvas – the starkness of the contrast was mind blowing.

My conscience was seared. Deadened. Totally submerged. Flat lined. Most people that I hear chatting about their desires and evil thoughts that they think make them so badass makes me laugh. I lived and moved and breathed depraved, horrific wickedness and did it all with a song in my heart!  But God chose not to leave me there – and the things I came to despise and tried to “cure”, the nagging anxiety, sleepless nights and mounting dread – they were truly the only things in my life that had integrity.

God touched me. Restored my conscience and set me on a path of confession and restitution that ultimately did nothing but open my heart and mind to the truth: that in my “restored” state, in all my good works, and in the power of the communities of do-gooders that I became a part of – we were all just as depraved as the monster I used to be. Simply a febreezed corpse. Imagine having a dream that you are building an entire ship to cross the ocean – building it from scratch…pouring so much hard work into it – and when you wake up from that dream, you are angry because now, in reality, none of your hard work has made you any closer to crossing the ocean! But what stayed with me was the truth that there is an ocean to cross and I yearned to cross it.

I had mistaken my restored conscience for redemption.

Take all my good works and amends and peace and stillness and fruit – take it all – and it can never wash out the stain on God’s pure canvas. We are incapable of a truly good act of our own selves. Any good deeds we do (outside of Christ) is merely a “relative” good deed. A truly good deed is done for the glory of God. Many have wallowed in despair in this place, many have sought out more elaborate rituals of stain removal, many have simply stamped out their conscience – again.

But some, meant for all, accepted by few have done the only thing that captures God’s heart – they have sought Him with all their heart and strength. They have responded to the only one who can remove this stain, the only one who does not offer a way for redemption – but who offered Himself as The Way of Redemption. Jesus Christ.

“That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that you might be filled with all the fulness of God.”Ephesians 3:17

“He who overcomes will, like them, be dressed in white. I will never blot out his name from the book of life, but will acknowledge his name before my Father and his angels.” (Revelation 3:5)

Read Full Post »

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

“The believer now finds the following results in experience. He has clear vision in the light of God, of the enemy’s workings, without fear; a clear mind, intelligently in exercise in all its actions; a calm decision of the will, with a strong pure spirit in resisting, without hesitation, all he sees to be of the Adversary. Instead of acceptance of the enemy’s workings, there is an established attitude of refusal; instead of a lie in the mind there is truth; instead of ignorance there is knowledge.

The delivered believer now has a deep longing for the deliverance of others he sees to be in the net of the fowler; acute insight into the devil’s true character in his bitter enmity to Christ and His redeemed; past perplexities in spiritual experiences are now clearly understood, and the Adversary detected where it was little thought he had a place; the undeceived one now seeing with astonishment the “naturalness” of his supernatural workings. This man is never off guard now, but always alert, watching against the powers of darkness, while relying upon the strength of God, and there is a manifest development of resisting power against the wicked spirits attacking him in the heavenly places, instead of the weak and passive attitude of the past, which enabled them to hinder or mislead him.

The steps to deliverance which have been given, deal with the PRACTICAL ASPECT OF THE BELIEVER’S ACTIONS. On the Divine side, the victory has been won, and Satan and his deceiving spirits have been conquered, but the actual liberation of the believer demands his ACTIVE COOPERATION WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT, and the steady exercise of his volition, choosing freedom instead of bondage, and the normal use of every faculty of his being, set at liberty from the bondage of the enemy.

“He that doeth the truth cometh to the light” (John 3: 21) said the Lord. Evil spirits hate scrutiny, and so work under cover with deception and lies. The believer must come to the light of God for His light upon all spiritual experiences, as well as all other departments of the life, if he is to “cast off the works of darkness” (Rom. 13: 12) and put on the armor of God – the armor of light.

The Blood of Jesus Christ, God’s Son, cleanses us from all sin, if we walk in the light; but the light must shine in for the soul to walk in it. The evil spirits can be cast out in the Name of the Lord Jesus, but the GROUND THEY HAVE GAINED CAN ONLY BE REMOVED BY THE INTELLIGENT CHOICE OF THE WILL REFUSING the ground given to them, and appropriating the deliverance by death with Christ on Calvary.” (Jessie Penn-Lewis; War On The Saints, Chapter 8)

Dear God – thank you for the simple but powerful truth in these words. Thank you that the author of these words was filled with the Holy Spirit when she helped a certain man overcome his depression and despair, a man who later became the founder of the movement that gave birth to the fellowship that rescued me from addiction and death. God – I thank you for my complete deliverance and for the deep longing you have given me to see my people in the fellowship delivered from slavery. Thank you for giving me a recovery family that make me feel like I’ve won the lottery just by knowing them. I love you. Amen.

Read Full Post »

October 5, 2012

Deep Allegiance To The Truth

“The very first step to freedom is the knowledge of the truth as to the source and nature of experiences the believer may have had since his entrance into the spiritual life, which possibly may have been perplexing, or else thought with deepest assurance to be of God. There is NO DELIVERANCE FROM “DECEPTION” BUT BY THE ACKNOWLEDGMENT AND ACCEPTANCE OF TRUTH. And this facing of truth in regard to certain spiritual and “supernatural” experiences, means a keen edged knife to the man in his self-respect, and pride.”

“It requires a very deep allegiance to the truth which God desires should reign in the inward parts of His children, for a believer to accept truth which cuts and humbles, as readily as he accepts that which is agreeable. The “undeceiving” is painful to the feelings, and the discovery that he has been deceived is one of the keenest blows to a man who once thought that he was so “advanced,” so “spiritual,” and so “infallible”, in his certainty of obeying the Spirit of God.”

“The Scriptural ground for obtaining deliverance is the truth concerning Christ’s full victory at Calvary, through which believer CAN BE DELIVERED FROM THE POWER OF BOTH SIN AND SATAN, but in actual fact the victory won at Calvary can only be applied as there is conformity to Divine laws. As the deceptions of Satan are recognized, and the will of the person is set to reject them, he can, on the basis of the work of Christ at Calvary as set forth in Rom. 6: 6-13; Col. 2: 15; 1 John 3: 8, and other passages, claim his deliverance from these workings of the devil in deception and possession.

Just as there are various degrees of deception and possession, so there are degrees of deliverance according to the understanding of the believer, and his WILLINGNESS To FACE ALL THE TRUTH ABOUT HIMSELF, and all the ground given to the enemy.” (Jessie Penn-Lewis; War On The Saints, Chapter 7)

Dear God, I pray that you would open our eyes to the deception of Satan in our lives. Help us to reach beyond hurt feelings, bruised pride and the need to defend our “position”. Let us latch on to The Truth. Save us from the strong delusion that to all appearances is imperceptible. According to you and your will, let us see. Amen.

Read Full Post »

“I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.” (Philippians 3:6)

I can relate! I was zealous! I was not a hypocryte! I have not met one person more loyal to the “program” than I was – not one person that was more willing, more dedicated, more committed to the “program” than me! I don’t say this in arrogance – I simply have never met anyone who demonstrated such rigorous fidelty to this as me. I was a champion for the purity of my religion and this was my religion: “Choose your own conception of God”!

That is the core and heart of our religion which is what our fellowship has become – in which we pretend is not a religion.

…and then I met Christ. THE Christ. The Jesus of the Bible.

Could I still cling to my transcendental meditations? Could I still say that all paths led to God? Could I still claim that I was manifesting my own destiny with my “god” within?

No.

“I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!

I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Let all who are spiritually mature agree on these things. If you disagree on some point, I believe God will make it plain to you. But we must hold on to the progress we have already made.

Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example. For I have told you often before, and I say it again with tears in my eyes, that there are many whose conduct shows they are really enemies of the cross of Christ. They are headed for destruction. Their god is their appetite, they brag about shameful things, and they think only about this life here on earth. But we are citizens of heaven, where the Lord Jesus Christ lives. And we are eagerly waiting for him to return as our Savior. He will take our weak mortal bodies and change them into glorious bodies like his own, using the same power with which he will bring everything under his control.” (Philippians 3:7-21)

Amen.

Read Full Post »